Ask and inspire, don’t demand or command

Most capable and healthy people enjoy their autonomy and boundaries - a way to exercise their own way of being and creativity. It tends to bring out their best and make them feel good. Conversely, most people have a visceral reaction to domination and authority. 

Demanding and commanding may be apt when the situation is dire and answer is somewhat clear; like during a war. Or with a low-trust and low-agency audience where you have some leverage, power, or authority. 

But in most cases, asking and influencing well will have higher ceiling and longer-term outcomes. It’s also more pleasant for everyone involved.

“If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up people to collect wood and don’t assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea.”