Talking to your parts and pasts

I may have stumbled onto a life-changing practice on Twitter yesterday. I have only practiced it a couple of times so far and I feel a dramatic effect on happiness and equanimity each time. 

Whenever a life-changing practice works out, it...well, changes your life. So well worth trying out strong recommendations. 

Here's how it starts: 

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I'm so glad that Visa actually caught the casual mention and asks Nick for a demonstration (I'd probably have simply brushed through the tweet, so this is a good lesson in paying attention and being curious). Nick shares a live stream of self-talk as an example - 

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You can see that Nick has a few different kinds of talks with his parts and pasts in this example:

  1. Check-in talks: How is every part feeling and doing, is anything disturbed or joyful.
  2. Reflection / looking ahead talks: What do we think about what happened or is going to happen. 
  3. Past self talk: Talk to a past self about something memorable - good or bad, and show compassion and heal from that experience.  
  4. Casual chats: No particular agenda. Just talk about whatever is on your mind. 

The practice seems almost cuckoo! Basically, instead of thinking of yourself as one thing, you think of yourself as multiple different parts and pasts. Each is alive and has its own feelings. You are their attentive, caring, and compassionate leader. And you regularly acknowledge their presence, their feelings, and talk with them. 

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Visa gets it and highlights how powerful this is to increase baseline happiness: 

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After trying it out, I agree that this practice is very powerful for a few reasons.

  1. It gets you to regularly and systematically check in with yourself. Meditation practices like body scans do something similar. This leads to more presence, self-awareness, and resolution of internal conflicts. 
  2. The conversation style and humanization are more engaging. fun, and compassionate, compared to meditation practices.
  3. You show love, compassion, and care to all your parts and your pasts, which helps you heal and feel better. 
  4. I think the attention, love, and compassion to different parts and pasts of you translates to compassion and care towards other people, beings, and things. It takes you towards the high state of "awakening" where ego dissolves and you become everything.
  5. Conscious and deliberate self-talk takes time away from subconscious self-talk, which is usually less uplifting or beneficial. 
  6. Being conscious more often is the same as being present more often, which is effective for clarity and happiness. 

Such a lovely and insightful exchange on the Internet! 


Notes: 

[1] I'm learning that this is similar to a therapy approach - Internal Family Systems or IFS

[2] Naming and humanizing pets and things have a similar effect. Nameless, faceless people or things get less of our attention and compassion.