Unhelpful soothing behaviors

When we are upset or anxious, our minds automatically seek soothing activities - something that offers immediate pleasure, or distraction, or makes us feel in control.
 
This is a good strategy, except when the soothing behaviors are unhelpful - they provide immediate relief, but eventually amplify the root situation or cause a different unpleasant situation. Then to soothe ourselves again, we do more of the unhelpful behavior, causing vicious cycles or addictions.
 
Alcohol, snacking, smoking, anger, gossip, nail-biting, procrastination, and doom scrolling on social media are examples of such unhelpful behaviors.
 
We are better served if we train ourselves to replace these unhelpful soothing behaviors with more helpful ones like drinking water, pacing, going for a walk, sleeping, exercising, meditation, journaling, or creating a plan to address the stressful situation.

Popular posts from this blog

From Ordinary to Extraordinary: Reopening my eyes and heart to the wonder all around

I had a life-changing epiphany on a recent excursion in the comforts of my own house and surroundings. It was a snow day. I bundled up and went outside to my backyard, something I usually avoid on cold or rainy days. Instead of the usual mind wandering, phone scrolling, or book reading, I was fully present and observing aimlessly. The trees stood out to me more vividly than ever before; I noticed and felt the details and intricacies in their trunks, branches, and leaves and how majestically they all came together. The Holly tree, with its dark green spiky leaves and its sheltered center that provides refuge for numerous little sparrows on rainy or windy days. The evergreen tree, its flat, soft leaves, and almost fake to touch. I marveled at how they had responded to the season - one had shed all its leaves, and others had somehow stayed evergreen.  My attention was also similarly captivated by the moss and mushrooms that had grown on and around those trees, the charming wildflower ...
Continue reading »

Part 2: Paul Graham, Sam Altman, Garry Tan, Jessica Livingston, and Michael Seibel on how to work on startup ideas (GPT generated)

See Part 1 discussion on how to generate ideas here . This covers how to execute on ideas and how to take care of yourself Generated by Bing GPT chat, with no edits.  Part 2: How to execute on ideas This is Bing. I can generate a conversation between Paul Graham, Sam Altman, Garry Tan, Jessica Livingston, and Michael Seibel on how to work on startup ideas after you have identified 2 or 3. Here is an example of how they might talk: Paul: Hi everyone. Thanks for joining me today to share some insights on how to work on startup ideas after you have identified 2 or 3. I think this is a common challenge for many founders who are trying to find product-market fit. Jessica: Absolutely. I think it's important to remember that the very best startup ideas tend to have three things in common: they're something the founders themselves want, that they themselves can build, and that few others realize are worth doing⁴. Sam: That's right. And once you have a few ideas that meet those crit...
Continue reading »

Elon's goals and answer to the most fundamental question

The most fundamental question to understand, IMO, is the existential one...What the heck is all this?! Why and how are we here? What are we supposed to do? Elon Musk is an incredibly smart guy - he has a track record of making things happen - both in the physical world (batteries, cars, rockets) and within human society (leading businesses, making money, acquiring a following). He's also a clear, first principles thinker and shares a lot about how he thinks about the world. So I think he can play a part in helping us understand life and the world*. So what is Elon's answer to the foundational question? Elon has two answers - one explicit and another implicit.   Elon recalls that at the age of 11 or 12, he had an existential crisis because he didn't understand why or how we are here. He concluded that we may never know but we may be able to find out if we expand the scope and scale of civilization and consciousness , and that's what he wants to do.  I like Elon's fra...
Continue reading »